Friday, November 26, 2010


Stomach oh stomach. Please please stop aching. I'm dying already =( I need to study! And there is presentation next week and I have to do it. Plus Macro test. SUPER a lot of pages to study weihh. But, I'm sick. At the wrong time. Aahhhh! I have no time to waste. I already plan everything. Now because of this shit sickness, I delayed everything. WHAT LAAA! I had a bit fever yesterday and today it's gone. But I feel like vomiting, headache and everything!! It's like old lady. Everywhere pain. =.= I need my body to heal. PLEASE GO AWAY! God help me. I really and seriously need to be okay by tomorrow. Lots of things waiting for me to finish it. I don't wanna screw up my Macro test.

This week was Accounts and IT test. Both of it suck to the end! I AM SERIOUS! First time I look at accounts paper and I was like, WHAT THE HELL. My brain is like not functioning at all =/ I tried to balance it. Don't know if I'm right or not. As for IT, I screw up the whole paper I guess. Can't even remember what I studied. I'm so dead right? Sighh.

I better go sleep. Stomach killing me again =.= Night

Friday, November 19, 2010

ARGHH! I just use the hearts () to write the word 'I Love U'. Spend so much time doing it and I post it up the whole thing is gone. Grrr! =(( Angry now. Seriously stupid!! Feel like smacking blogspot =.=

Next week is a busyyyy week. Ughh. Two exams. Which is IT and Accounts. I sure die =/ IT is hard. I hate studying IT. Somehow it doesn't attract me. Sigh. I hope I don't screw up my CGPA because of IT. Here I come IT ;) I will master you. And delete you right after the exam is over. Lol. I just realise nearly everyone is having holidays now. My friend from other college having their finals soon already. Which means their break is very soon. Why didn't I have my break? =( Everyone enjoying I need to study. Especially my siblings. They're playing everyday and I have to study everyday. Distracting me. Haha.

I'm working tomorrow. Money money = SHOPPING! I seriously can't wait to go shop. AAHHHH! Paradise. :) Shop till I drop. I just bought a new handbag. Woohoo! But I haven't seen my bag yet. It's with my friend. Lol.

It's 2months now :) Wonder if he remember or not. Hmm. I guess he didn't even know today is the 19th. And I just made him angry yesterday. Stupid status. I don't mean to make him angry. I just post it up cause it look fun. And I just think of him and my girl friends to like so that I can post it on their wall. I don't mean to attract attention and other ppl to come and like it. I know he doesn't like it that guy post such things on my wall. I need to think before doing things next time. To prevent this things from happening again. And then, somehow my tears dropped just now. I think I know why. Yet I don't know. Hmm. Should be because I feel like I'm forcing him to change to the way I like. And stopping him from things he wants to do. =/ I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel everything I do is wrong. =(
I feel I always ki siao. And I know he doesn't like it. I already try my best. I can feel that I become much more better compare to last time. Or maybe it's just my feeling? Last time, my anger won't go away that fast. Now, the moment he talk to me properly, my anger will be gone already. How does this even happen? Human's brain is so weird. Hmm. I don't get angry that easily too already :) I can control now.

Time to do some revision. Exam coming. Wish me luck :)

Happy 2months. I love you

Sunday, November 14, 2010

My wii =( It's gone now. I made a deal with dad. If my bro get 5A's in his UPSR, he buy us Wii. Now there's no more Wii cause my bro did not get 5A's. Ughh! I thought he can get it. But well, I guess he made some mistakes during the exam or he wasn't concentrating. Sighh. I feel so sad. My dad go rent Wii from his friend for us to play this holiday. I mean their holiday. Lol. No holiday for me =/ So, I'll be enjoying Wii till end of this year. =D

I'm working nearly every weekends now. Finding money to shop!! Shopping is my life ;) It's been so long since I last shopped. Can't wait to shop again. Shoes is the best. I prefer buying shoes than clothes somehow. I don't know why I just have more passion for shoes than clothes. Maybe because most of the clothes doesn't suit my size. So I prefer buying shoes cause most of it suits me. But there's one bad thing too. My leg is too small. Kinda hard to find my size =.= Seems like everything is hard for me. Lol. I should grow more. Aiyaa. I should be satisfied already.

Accounts presentation tomorrow! And I haven't even get ready for it yet. Lol. Discussing now. Byee.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I just realise that the year is going to end very very soon. I saw someone posted something in Facebook that is why I realise that. Whenever it is year end, it only reminds me of something. And I can't believe that it has been two years already. Wow. Time really flies. I went to that person's profile and I'm glad everything is good for that person. I don't really hate that person already. It just 'wow' me that it has been so long since I last listen to that person's voice and also the person's face from near. Of course I've met that person at other place after that. But it's not near. Somehow it just gives me weird feelings. I never thought that incident would happen. It happened and I just can't believe that it's been soooo longggg. =O And I never thought I could actually carry on my life so well without that person. I depend so much on that person that I lost control of everything when that person is gone. Now, I'm not anymore [=

It's already the 7th week of college. Half of the semester gone. Another final exam coming soon and I'm so not ready yet. Information technology and systems really suck and I'm kinda worried for that subject. Hmmm. Having Introduction to Organization and Management exam this thursday. Then on saturday, there will be an English summary writing. Oh goshh. All the best to myself ;)

Byee. Gotta go study for my exam d. =DD

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Finally updating it [= So many things happen in this few weeks.

Start with college. My 3 weeks sem break is awesomeee. Enjoyed myself hanging out with friends =D It's awesome! Wooo. I spend my 3 weeks at home doing nothing. Wanted to work but oh well. I'm lazy as usual. Lol. Now it's the 3rd week after sem break already. This sem subjects are harder compared to the first sem =/ There's IT too. Oh gosh. I hate IT. Though I'm using IT things. =p The other subjects are okay for now. Accounts. Hmm. Some of it I didn't study before. So this sem would be much harder for me already. Macro is. Speechless. All calculation and I feel micro is sooo much easier. The lecturers teach super fast too. One lecture they teach 10pages plus =/ We DO NOT have a robot brain. Our brain needs time to digest all the information. Crazy lecturers! Trying to kill us =.= More and more assignments are coming up. And I haven't been studying since the first day of class. I'm still lazy and laptop is really a distraction. Plus with games =/ I seriously don't know how to control myself. Someone control me PLEASE!! English presentation is soon. I have to get ready for it already. Talking about chocolates. Mmmmm. Yummy!

The rest of my life is just. Hmm. How do I describe it? Good? Yeaa. I guess that is the word. Can't say it's awesome or it's bad. Well, start with 19th Sept. That was a special day to me. Something that I never thought would happen so soon. It's UNEXPECTED! I know something about that person. And it makes me feel happy to be the first one to experience that. [= I'm lucky ;) And the details I should keep it to myself. I am enjoying every moment of it. And I will continue enjoying it.

Next is this guy. He told me he love me. I didn't really suspect so much cause I thought he is down that's why need someone to talk to him. He suddenly keep texting me and buy me things. Even ask me out. So yea. I went out with him. And he make things complicated for me. I treat him as a VERY GOOD FRIEND of mine. And nothing more. I told him that he came at the wrong time. If he come before May, maybe he still got the chance. I know him for so long already and now he suddenly come tell me he realise I was there for him all the time. Since last time till now. I know last time he helped me a lot when I was down. He was the one that keep asking me not to be sad and be strong. He was the one who was there for me when I need someone. He did ask me out last time, but somehow I just don't dare to go out with him last time. Now he ask me go out, I don't feel that anymore. I wonder why I got such feelings last time. o.O It's weird. And last time, everytime I see him I feel weird. Who cares about it now. It's the past. I don't want to hurt him. So I leave things the way it is. And just let him give up himself. I still have another function to go with him. If things get very awkward, I don't know how to face him during the function. It'll be very weird. Plus the function wouldn't be an hour or what. It'll be the whole night. Like 3 hours =/ I hope things will be fine. And I know that person doesn't like it. All I can say is. Don't worry. My feelings is still the same.

The end [= Movie time =D

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Happy Independence Day

The title got nothing to do with this post. And I don't know what this post is going to be about. Lol. Random me. Just feel like blogging out of a sudden. =D Went out the whole day today. Bought my formal shirt too. Woo! Love it. Still need to find for my skirt. All of it too loose. Ughh! It's not fit at all. And I already took the smallest size =.= Sucks. Hate it when I can't find the right size for the things I want. Especially shoes. Love shoes so much <3 Shopping for shoes is just soo fun.

Better c
ontinue studying. Didn't study the whole day today =/ Night [=

Hmm. I wonder what is that person going to say

Thursday, August 26, 2010


Time to update after neglecting it for so long. I'm having my finals right now. Finished my first paper already and I'm kinda proud with it. Maybe cause I know how to do. And I don't know why I don't feel worried for this exam at all. I got no feeling. Like so relaxed =/ I don't think it's very good to be so relaxed. But I like to be like that. I still study and work hard but not worried =DD

Birthday just pass. And I got a baby guinea pig for my birthday. A birthday present from my guinea pig ;) Love them so much. I have to wake up early in the morning to go pass up my PTPTN loan. Ughh. How wonderful. Out of all days, they choose that day. Luckily it didn't took a very long time. If not, I'll really go crazy and ruin my day. Then, I was out till evening [= Enjoyed the moment. It was like a normal outing but it's somehow different. Maybe because I'm with that person <3 Got a bear from that person. Wooo! New bear added to my collections. Lol. The day before my birthday. Went out for dinner with family. The day after my birthday with friends. Love all of them so muchhh. It was fun to go out with them. Went to Hard Rock Hotel. First time there. And also went to eat German's food. The thought of it makes me feel hungry now. Yumm. Super delicious

That's my update for now. Kinda tired after cracking my brain for exam. Sleeping time and tomorrow will be another studying day =( I still enjoy studying. Better than working. Looking forward to my sem break ;D

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Redwan Ali - Would You Be There

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way ...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there ..... for me ...

Lyrics taken from

A nice song. Really meaningful ;)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I want to watch Salt movie. Super want to watch. And also Inception. Arghh. I need time and also money to watch that!! Helppp! I'm so gonna watch this two movie. It's like a must watch movies.

My birthday is coming soon. I'm not sure what is my birthday wish this year. But what I can list now is this :

1. To be that person's special person
2. A camera
3. Everything in my life goes smoothly [=

Monday, August 2, 2010

Feeling down again. Sighh. I don't know what to say. Everytime sure will end up feeling down. I didn't really talk just. It's like soo quiet. I didn't talk that person didn't talk too. So it's like, sitting down and stare at things. I know it feels weird not talking but I don't feel like talking to that person. Seriously. I don't like when that person keep changing decisions. I know it's that person's nature and no point I complain bout it. I still need to complain. Never mind. Skip that.

Watched Chloe. The movie sucks. It was complicated and they drag the whole movie. Ishh. And out of all, it's about LESBIANS! Then, there is a scene where girl and girl kissed. Damn gross. Haha. But in between the movie, it was fun. Well, watching with the person you like of course does make things feel better. No matter how bad the movie is, I still enjoyed it.

My finals is coming soon. As in like very very soon. I haven't start studying yet. I need to start studying and less on laptop already. I always on laptop and play Facebook game. Goshh. Need to stop. STOP!! Studies more important. I'll go to lecture tomorrow. I might be alone but I'll still go. I don't want let ppl's decision influence me

Sunday, July 25, 2010

What The ...

Okay. This guy is giving me weird reactions o.O I mean normal friends don't do that, do they? Crap laa. I feel so bad. Is he jealous? He sound jealous to me. Should stop talking about this kind of things with him. *breathe breathe* He's a friend who is jealous I treat other guy better. Yea yea. That must be it. Okayy. Everything is settled. =( It's NOT! Arghh. *faint* Act normal. Yeaaa. This is the only way [=
After so many emo post, I'm blogging a not emo one =p I miss someone. Random me. Lol. College life seems better now. I feel less stress already. Maybe because the scary exams are over. And also the assignments are the easy ones only. Not the one which need us to crack head and think bout it. I'm glad. Plus plus, finals is another week time only. Scared and also glad is ending soon. Time flies. One sem going to finish already. =/ I don't want it to finish so fast. =(( Don't want to go working life that fast!

College means classmates. Well, there's this guy in my class. Erm, should I call him a guy or a girl? Or maybe half? I'm not trying to discriminate him. But he really annoy ppl. He treat everyone as if the whole world owe him something. he only treat some of us nicely. The same group ppl with him. Which is my assignment group ppl. That is the only ppl who he talk to and treat nicely. The rest of them, he look and stare at them. He talk to them in a weird way =/ It makes me feel bad cause I'm mixing with such kind of ppl. All of them are my classmates too. He just talk to them as if they did something to him =.= I want to avoid him already. The way he wear his shirt is like =.= And also his sooooo damn wonderful recycling bag. Oh wonderful. Can't he just say he want to put his bag in one of our cars. There's three car there. He can't put at his motor he can put in one of our car. Not as if there is some valueable things in the bag. It's only books =.= He button up all his buttons and put up his collar =.= Seriously, this is just SOOO NERD! I am not a person who can stand nerd. I will feel weird walking beside them. I know I'm evil. But I don't care. He discriminate my classmates. I'll discriminate him. And he follow where we walk. We walk to the right, he follows. We walk to the left, he follow too. As if we're magnets pulling him around. What the.... We tried to shoo him away but it just doesn't work =/ We're always the last one to go out from class. Somehow, I don't know why. Maybe because after each class, we'll sit and talk instead of packing things and go out. Then, he'll stand there and wait for us =( My way of asking him to go away. "Can you pleaseee don't be a light bulb. We need to have some private time together" This only work when other classmates are not around. Lol. I should stop talking bad about him/her already. Seriously he's so gay. I guess he need a mental checkup. Some mental prob. Ppl ask him do survey, he'll ask this and that. Ask till that person say it's ok don't have to do already. Gosh. They're tarcians too. What can they do? And ppl give brochure. He also ask this and ask that. He ask in a way that make ppl feel he's very annoying. Somehow he has the way. Gosh. Okayy. Really stopping now =/

You make me smile yet you make me down =]/=(

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I just realise so many things happen in two days time. It started with that person got angry. Thanks to my stare =.= I didn't know I give that stare but I did. And I made that person got mad. The first time I see that person got mad at me. Hmm. And well, somehow when I asked for the reason I knew it wasn't because of other people that person got mad. There's something else. At last that person told me the truth. I am really sorry if I gave that stare. It's the same when that person mention things that made me sad too. That person didn't realise it too. Not gonna talk about it. Then at night, I started to think about what my sis said to me. Is she right? I think of what I-Lyn said to me too. Did I really go beyond that? Should I keep back? I am happy when I'm with that person. Sometimes I wish that day wouldn't end so that I have more time cause I don't know how tomorrow will be. But when it comes to questions, I don't know how to answer. I can't answer we are couple and I can't answer we're not when we look like one =.= Gahh. Everyone thought we are when we are not. I mean they assume that we are already.

Now, I'm down. I was happy. Really very. Till just now. When I realise that person can give up time for friends but not me. I'm not trying to say that person can't mix with friends and I do understand it's hard to plan an outing with friends. To make that outing happen, everyone needs to be free. But my things aren't happening so soon. It'll only be happening again next year. it's NEXT YEAR! And I'm sure I ask that person out first before that person's friends does. Isn't it people who book first get the place? Why is it different for that person? Why sacrifice my part to do other things? We find for time. If that person really cares, I guess that person will find time and not give reasons. I'm not trying to be not understanding here. It's not the first time I'm getting such answers. I guess next time I will not ask that person out already. I'll just wait for that person to ask. That person wants to be passive then I'll be passive too. I'm sick of being active all the time.

I'm gonna start complain about college life again. Really so busy =/ There's only a few weeks left to final exam. It's sooo fast. One sem gonna finish already. Did time just fly? Can it crawl?? I hope it can. Hmm

My birthday is coming soon [= I'm not that excited for this year's birthday. I don't know. Maybe cause I'm down now so I don't feel excited. I want a camera now. How I wish I'll get a camera. Birthday means I'll be officially 18years old already. It feel so old to be 18 =/ I'm getting older. Is that a good thing or a bad one?

Night.. It's late and I better go to sleep already.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I am disappointed again. Sighh. I mean this is not the first time this thing happened. I don't want to say it but then, I don't know le. I don't want to make things become bad or anything. But if I don't say it, my heart doesn't feel well. That is the thing. Should I say or should I not? I'm really confused. I kinda look forward towards it but now I'm being let down. GAHHH! Seriously, I hate the feeling. What am I doing? Dealing with something that never happened to me before. Hmm. Or maybe I used to do that to people. Now I'm getting it back? Is it so? Nooo. Anyone can do that to me but not that person le. I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING LET DOWN! I should ask the person who I did this to before. I guess it's the same feeling as I am now. Okayyy. Now I feel bad already. This is really not a good feeling. I'm so sorry to the person who I did this to. I mean that person wouldn't know I'm apologising, but at least I did. So I don't feel that bad doing this to that person. It's not like I mean it.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


There's been a lot of things happening in my life currently. College is one of it. And the worst. I am so sick of it. I thought it would be more relaxing. But I don't feel relaxed. It's like every week I have assignments or exams or presentation to do. I never have a week which is free from all those work since the week 5 of my college week. Now, the prom night is coming soon. I still haven't make decision whether to go or not to go. It's kinda stupid from what I heard, All we gonna do there is to sit and watch performance. There won't be any food. Plus it's from 5.30 until 10pm. This will seriously cause me to sleep in it. 4 hours plus in the hall with FORMAL clothes just to watch performance =.= It's on Monday the thing is. How am I supposed to get ready? I can't go back home get ready then only go back to college. My class finishes at 3pm on Monday. It's gonna be super rushy. Maybe I'll consider going next year. Since next year will be my last year already [=

That person [= Things been going well with that person. I was sad the other day because of what that person said again. I don't know why everything that person said will make me sad. I mean most of the things le. Not all. =.= I was suprised that person can even spell my name wrongly. Spelled another person's name (kinda same name but different spelling). I don't know what is their relationship but I guess it must be someone kinda special to that person. I saw the same name person in that person's phone. Hmm. And yea. I finally know that person's feeling towards me. I'm happy it's a good thing. If not, I don't know how am I gonna face that person. There is some thing that I can say may stop us from being together. I really hope that something wouldn't happen and I am kinda scared. Plus, the person still haven't really forget about the past. I guess I should just wait till that person forget about the past before I step in more. I know it's not easy but I hope that person can forget about it. I will wait [= That person might not be my bai ma wang zi. But that person somehow just managed to take away every bit of my heart. It feels good to be beside that person. That person talk without thinking, so there's a lot of things he said that kinda hurt me but well, I still feel ok except for certain things =/

I know sometimes when I'm sad, I'll ignore that person. Same when I'm angry. I know that person don't know what to do when I ignore. I don't talk to that person when that person talks to me. I just stare and talk to other people. Somehow, I know it's not a good thing but I just don't feel like talking to that person. When I'm sad and it's because of what that person said, I can't talk to that person. I'll start to feel even sad. And I seriously don't wanna cry in front of that person anymore. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I hope you'll understand. I feel bad too I ignored you. Sometimes, when that person said something, I just feel that I got no more hope. It's like that person doesn't care about me. I always think that much. I'm crazy. That's a fact that is undeniable. Human make mistakes. I know that.

It's study time. Bye. Gonna update my blog as soon as I'm free again [=

It's gonna be two months already we know each other [=

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

This is how my new car look like. Love it. Thanks Dad and Mum.

Monday, June 14, 2010

This is going to be a short post. I said I won't online anymore. STUDY! [= I'm so happy these few days. I love it and hope the feeling will last forever. It's 14th today. 1 month Time flies. It passes so fast. I didn't realise that. I don't want time to pass so fast.

And the sad thing is I cried because of that person. That person wants to know why I cry but I don't know how to tell. It is because of something that person said. It definitely shows that person still misses or loves the ex. Out of so many surname in this world and that person chose that. I don't think I think too much. I guess there must be more than 100 surnames in the world? Why that? The feeling gets stronger and I can feel it. But deep inside who knows what that person is thinking about.

I am still happy and I will remain that happy. I felt it already and I guess it doesn't matter that much already if in the future that person doesn't choose me. The feeling is there and I know it [=

I never said this to that person. And I don't dare to. I'll say it here
I am falling for you

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tear drop because of that person. How can I fall so fast? =( I'm scared. I want to ask that person but I can't. Must be confident! Things will go the way I want it to be I guess if another person didn't come back. If that person go back to the previous life, then it is me being stupid.

Assignments to be done by this week and I haven't start writing my essay =/ No idea how to write. I have to start from the beginning. I'll have to imagine then. Imagination ;) I imagine too many things. [=

I'm falling for you but you don't know and i don't think you have feeling towards me
=] Control

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I just realise there's a lot of homework and assignments to be done and I'm super lazy. Why?? Aaahhhhh. I know why. Interviewing people should be fun I guess. New experience. Something that I might enjoy =p I hope the owner of the shop I'm going to interview is a nice person. I don't want to deal with owners who is moody and not friendly one. One assignments to be passed up by next next week. And that time, I'll be having my first microeconomics exam. It's just a small exam but it's scary to have my first exam in college. Another new experience [= My hubungan etnik assignment is stupid. I suddenly don't know how to find points for that topic. It's so complicated and I think it's easy to be out of topic =O I'll faint if I get bad marks for that assignment.

Mum been asking who I text with so much lately. Didn't I text that much before this? Hmmm... I don't feel any difference. I always text that much and some of the people I used to text with everyday stopped texting me already. And it's taken over by a new person. So what is the difference? One go and one come. Isn't it the same? Maybe I don't reply people as often as now. I used to ignore people messages before this and I only reply the person who I feel like replying =p The rest of them will have to wait till I'm in a good mood then I'll reply. Why am I talking about this? =.=

My feelings are becoming weird. Unexplainable. Complicated too I feel. I don't know why but I just feel it's kinda complicated. Things go until this stage but no action is taken. And also I don't know that person's feeling too. What I thought is true might be wrong. I never feel so not confident about someone feeling towards me. Am I thinking too much? They told me I should just go with the flow. But I don't want to get too deep then end up get hurt. The feeling will be so bad. ='( I love hanging out with that person. It feels weird not to see that person for a day. Yet it feels sad when I don't know what is going to happen. I don't have the slightest idea about the future. I want to ask God about my future. How do I do that? Thinking of the impossible things =/

Assignment and homework time. College life isn't that easy =/ But I still love it.

Friday, May 28, 2010

You make me smile [=
Thank You

That talk really made me cried. My tears drop without me realising how sad it is to talk about that to you. Now that I know more, things wouldn't be the same anymore I guess. Things are just temporary. It's all just a dream. When I wake up, things wouldn't be the same anymore. Though you make me happy and laugh, you made me sad and feel hurt too.

*I will wake up from my dream soon

1. I can't donate my blood because of I'm under 45kg.
2. I am feeling sad and I want to go out from house
3. I have to wake up. The feelings is coming back. Exactly the same feeling I used to have. Just that it's not the same person anymore
4. I'm having shaky legs because of the Wesak Day thing. I can't go down the stairs properly
5. I need to walk properly. Open my eyes to look at roads. Stop falling again
6. I have to try to contact lesser with that person. Unless I know what is that person thinking about. Sighh. It's hard to find out. Sometimes I wonder that person treat me as a friend or more than that.
7. Why do I care about those feelings? Didn't I said I want to concentrate on studies?????
8. I feel like hurting myself again. Damn it =/
9. I paint my nails to college and my parents say I go college to attract guys not study =.=
10. My mum remind me to STUDY and don't pak toh or have any other feelings. And I'm already having those feelings. Is it even possible to take it back?? I don't think so.
11. I have to stop waking up in the middle of the night. Seriously, I have to stop worrying =( It makes me feel tired in the morning.
12. Promise = Sad = NO

My listttt. =.= It's so stupid. I went out yesterday for my group's outing. Summer [= Funny and also Shrek movie is sooo nice! Wonderful movie. Love shrek so much ;) Before the movie, we went to Sakae Sushi. I was suprised they charge for the tea and also the tissues =.= I think I won't go there anymore. Maybe I will after I forget about it. Then movies. Nice movie =D LOVE IT! proceed to after movie. went to a restaurant? beside Coffee Island. Cockroaches went up my friend's leg. She was shouting so loud that the other table's people was looking at us as if we're mad. The guys were scared of it too. Lol. Except for Alex. Funny part. She freaked out. Ughh. Luckily the cockroach did not choose me. =D

This is the thing that has been worrying me a lot. Things started to happen when I was in college. When I start knowing that person. I hate thinking about it. The reason why I always wake up middle of the night I guess. Sigh. I hope I don't have to but after talking about that particular topic with that person, it really scares me. I don't know about that person. Obviously I know about that person interest and things like that. But not feelings. That is the thing I want to know yet don't want to know. What if the outcome is not what I expected? Things will be very weird after that. It wouldn't be the same anymore. I enjoy the laughter and everything that we shared but I don't know where it'll lead to. What if those things lead to those bad past? =( I'm kinda scared. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that. But I just cant control it. Those happy moments look like it'll be gone when I wake up. I still can't believe that it is not a dream. Those moments. [= Something that I would like to keep but I know things like that don't last. I shouldn't say so much. I don't want it to be so obvious yet I want it to be. This is me. I can't make up my mind. I want to spend all my time with that person. But it doesn't seem right. Things are getting complicated and I shouldn't have those feelings THAT FAST! I'll just go with the flow. Hope things go where I want it to be [=

Assignments are #$^&*(# I don't like it. Okayy. It's not bad. I'm the lazy one that is why I'm complaining, Oh well. Haha. Lotsa hw to do. One day holiday means we got more work than usual. Oh gosh. I better start working instead of blogging. And also studying instead of thinking of those things.

Hw time ;) Remember to do your homework too BIG BABY xP

Saturday, May 22, 2010

woot. i'm back again. college started for a week already. and it's kinda fun except for my English class. She make me hate the class =( I don't wanna hate the class. Actually, I don't know why I hate the class also =.= I'm just weird. I got perli because of my CUTE size. Haha. I'm cute aren't I? *self perasan* lalala. I'm not happy with my size but I'm used to those perli stuff. =D

Things happen in this few days. Skipping that part. Not important though [=

The bad part was I've been blocked again. This time I sms him and asked him what does he want. As expected he did not reply. So I decide to forget bout it. Not important to me anymore. Ruin my mood on that day =/

I got nothing to say now. Gahh. Brain is blank. =O Gotta help sis with her folio. As if I'm doing the folio instead of her =.= Andd, I got assignment already. NOOOOO. I don't know why but I'm having weird feelings. This is bad. Always happen to me. Does everyone got the feeling? Or I'm the weird one with those weird feelings all the time? Shoo the feeling away. It's better to be feeling-less I guess. Then I won't have to think what is wrong with me =.=

Night. I better start doing her folio =(

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day, Happy Tzu Chi Day and Wesak Day

I woke up at 5am today. Super sleepy. The feeling of waking up early really suck. And i slept at 1am which means I only sleep for like 4 hours =/ Went to Tzu Chi for the bathing Buddha ceremony. The thing started at 6am and ended about 8.30 am. Then, after the ceremony is over, the ppl from Butterworth came. So it's their turn to continue with the ceremony. My sis had to stay there to assist them as they do not know how to do the things and everything. Of course the way is not the same as the normal bathing Buddha thing. While waiting for my sister, we were asked to do the tea ceremony. Since it's Mothers' Day, the kids were asked to serve Mum tea. Besides that, we also use a handkerchief to wipe our mum's face. Then kneel down to serve them tea. I took some picts too and then while walking around Tzu Chi I also took a few pict. It was a special day and indeed I had fun there even though waking up early is soo not me.

Bro giving mum her tea. I asked him to take pict of me but he ended saying I can't take. Can't fit =.=

Mum drinking my tea. Bro is really a bad photographer =.=

After drinking tea ceremony. Mum [=

The seat in front of the lift

Before going up the stairs

Stairs [=

The place where everyone gather to bath the Buddha and it is taken from where I'm waiting for my sis. Blocked by the trees =.=


Bro with bamboos (and his tummy =p)
Gahh. I hate it. I found out that actually my ex been blocking me using his younger brother's Facebook account. Of course he did blocked me too le. Sometimes I don't know what is he up to actually. Then, his brother started talking to me in MSN. He asked for my Facebook name so I gave him but he said he can''t find me. Same goes to me. He went to check his blocked list and yes, I was blocked like what I thought. He unblocked me until yesterday or the day before, he went to his brother's account and blocked me again. I was so pissed off with him. His brother of course unblocked me. He seriously need to respect ppl's privacy. His brother feels that he do so is because of he's scared I'll ruin his relationship. So i was thinking, does he think I still like him or something. Do I really need to do that? This really make me think awhile is he being too perasan or something =.= I do not care bout him. As long as I'm happy with the people around me, I'll continue mixing with them.
After that, I went to Tzu Chi to practice the next day bathing Buddha steps. It wasn't that easy and also not too hard. But under the hot sun really make it harder. So long didn't stand under the hot sun already.

Tomorrow, which is later is my college orientation day. I feel lazy when think of need to wake up early. I really will miss the feeling of sleeping late and waking up late. Plus with nothing to do at home except for playing games, guinea pigs and watching movies. That is really fun. Start of college means studying, serious, waking up early =/

Night. Better sleep early [=

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Games Games Games

The title of this post is obviously about the game I'm so addicted to. I just only finish playing the game. Trying sooo hard to level up. Gahh. I need to stop playing so much. Before this was movies movies movies and now its games games games =.= I guess I'm just too free that I need to find things to do. Luckily there's a story book for me to read. I'm so worried that I'll spoil my eyes thanks to too much of tvss and laptopss. College is going to start REAL soon. I'm not sure if I'm even ready for it or not.

I've been complaining about no money but I wouldn't go work. There were many outings and I rejected most of it. Mostly because of no transport and no money. I need to keep money because my guinea pig needs food and also I need food. One of the reason why I'm so free. Cause I've been staying at home EVERYDAY! I don't even go out. Sometimes I follow my mum to fetch my siblings. Sometimes I fetch them. That is the only time I go out. Weekends supposed to be going out. But I did not because I have to stay at home with my chicky pox bro. Take care of him =.= He can't even control himself. I ask him to take it as on diet period since he's so fatt. I feel he look like Doraemon =O Oh. He call himself 'chicken pox human'. We laughed when he said that. Plus with his expression. =D

Time to read story book and sleep. Night

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Bad day

I guess today is an unlucky day to me. Woke up late as usual. Then, bro came back from school and mum told me he may be having chicken pox. My sis started avoiding him. And he, want to play people by touching her and everything. I followed him and mum to General Hospital to make sure if he's really having chicken pox. I follow because my mum asked me to? I don't know why she ask me to go also. Weird to me. I always wanted to ask the doctor one silly question. Why can't I grow taller. I really went to ask the doctor. My mum say the doctor will laugh at me. And yes. The doctor did feel suprised with my question. Haha. I know that is the silliest thing ever. I cannot not ask the doctor. The only chance to my question. Finally, the answer is not what I want to hear. Sigh. The doctor ask me how tall is my parents. I say my mum is about my height. There it goes. Doctor say.. Oh it's normal because your parents isn't that tall. And also you're now 18 years old already. It's hard for you to grow already. My only hope is gone now =( Bro is confirmed with his chicky pox =/ And he sleep in the same room as me. NOOOO! Bad i know. Pray nothing will happen to me

Night as usual I got yoga class with Pei Ying. Went to fetch her. Mum scold again. Sigh. She say go up her house hill will waste a lot of petrol. Gahh. I wasn't paying much attention already because of her scolding. So I drive the way I like. While listening to Autumn's Concerto songs. The movie song is stuck in my head already. Like super stuck.

Watching the movie makes me feel lonely. Maybe it is because I'm single for so long already that is why I got such weird feeling. I don't like it but I guess it'll go away soon. This feeling always happen whenever I watch some love movie. I've been reminded that everything that happen in movie is not real. I know it isn't real but I really love dreaming about it. Sound so funny to dream of something that is impossible =.=

Continue with yoga.. Fetch PY time i had to reverse to go out. Instead of pressing the brake I pressed the fuel one. The whole car move super fast behind. I think I didn't press the brake hard enough that made the car knocked into a motor behind my car. I was still blur. I didn't know I knocked the motor until I look at PY's face. The motor belongs to the guard =( I really wasn't paying attention. Sigh. I apologise to the man and he was so angry. He scolded me. I know I'm careless. I just apologise non-stop and drive away after he pull his motor up. While driving to the yoga place, I nearly bang into a car that was stopping in front of me =/ And the n when want to park my car tyre scratched the side of the road. OMG. I'm really sleeping that time. I don't know the scratch mark on the car happen because of me or it was there all along =( I really hope it's not my fault. The mark there is really deep

Watching Princess and The Frog now. It's so hard to find the chinese name of this movie. Sound weird right why I have to find chinese name of the movie. That is because I'm watching it using PPStream =D Chinese is the only word that can be seen. I found it at last and now time to watch movie. I know it's late but movies are nice plus the fact that I'm having a chicky pox bro sleeping in my room make me don't feel like sleeping at all. Night people. Movie time -.^

Monday, April 26, 2010

Happy Belated Birthday to Dad and Mum

Parents birthday just pass. Ughh. Time pass so fast and I'm so bored now. My movie finish already. No more interesting or nice movie to watch already. Autumn's Concerto is really a nice movie! I know the movie is kinda long ago. It's like last year's movie. I'm always that outdated. I am watching the movie again. Crazy already. Now watching it with english subtitles. Really nice movie! Hope there'll be a second part of the movie. It's really sad for it to finish like that. The ending is kinda rushy. I want the movie to continue and continue. Non stop.

My internet suddenly slow down a lot. It's like super slow. Sigh. I called TM people and they said the US cable or something like that got problem. They say about 2nd May only can finish repairing it. I told them other people can go in and everything why only mine cannot. Reasons banyak banyak =.= Even opening a website take like a few mins. Facebook also the same. Sooo long to open. I hate that.

Yesterday, went out with dad's friend for dinner. Eat steamboat at Butterworth. Dad's friend fetch us there with his new car from company. Nice car but kinda huge. Hope dad will get his old car which is much much better than his current car. Noisy engine =/ It's so expensive and the food is only some normal food. Not anything special. But the soup is really nice to drink. I only drink soup. Shake head. The rest of the food doesn't suit my taste. Those pig parts and things. So... Don't know how to eat. Wasted. Went to AEON after that. Walked around and then bought sardine puff to eat. The food can't make me full. Actually can say I didn't eat.

Enjoy the rest of the day! [=

Smile and smile [=

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Quote of the day

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I give back P1 W1max already. So sad. Streamyx is really so sloww. I'm trying to get used to it. I keep complaining to mum that she scolded me for rushing =/ Ugghhh. I know I always rush when I want to do something. I hate it when they say think first think first. Then they'll definitely forget about it. That is why anything to do with my family I have to ask them all the time. Like maybe every single day. If not, they'll never put it on mind. Sigh. Sometimes I really do things to rushy. I should stop the bad habit to prevent me from regretting. I have myself to blame for this. Hmm.

Satuday was fine. Stayed at home the whole day. I downloaded a game. It took about 1 day plus to finish downloading. Really so slow. I'm so into the game that I don't care about the people around me. About 4 something in the afternoon, P1 people came to my house area for roadshow. I really pity them cause no one actually walk near them and ask them anything. They don't even have a chair to sit and rest. All they do is stand and talk to each other. Luckily the weather that day isn't that hot. They were there until about 6plus. It started raining so they went back already. I wonder did anyone walk there and ask them. Hmm. At night, we wanted to go out for Domino's. The heavy rain stopped us.Then, dad asked me to call them to deliver it back. I was into game so I say I don't want. He went to the website and tried to order but because he was new so he has to fill in the forms and bla bla. Ended up, we go out eat. I hate going out during rainy days. So yucky =/

Today, dad wake me up for breakfast. Our breakfast is like 11 plus. =O Then his friend came. With his girlfriend. He's very funny. I can talk to him easily not like his other friends. Maybe because he's quite young so I feel normal talking to him. The whole time he was there I laughed non stop. Funny guy. Hmmm. He's like SOOO TALL. I feel so short standing beside him. Back to home, his friend teach him how to use Iphone =.= Sound so stupid to me. Seriously.. He keep complaining about the phone. I got a feeling he will let me use his phone and then well. Somehow exchange phone. Everyone in my family got a hp now. Before this, only dad, sis and I got hp. After buying mum a new hp, everyone got hp. Look like the house phone is gonna be lonely. Haha. Argues with dad. Then he say he don't want to buy me car already. Bla bla. Everytime I make him angry he'll take this matter out =.= Really irritating at times. Sigh. That is why I don't like to wait for them to buy me things. The main reason why I want to buy laptop using my own money [=

Just now, mum asked me how am I going to college. I say drive there and she say your dad say he doesn't want to buy you car already. I ask them don't break promise and then she say I break promise. I don't think I ever say I promise them anything. Gahh. Hate them at times. Why can't they just keep quiet?! I'm trying to be very patient and trying to chill. I feel I'll burst one day. *Chill chill*

Puffy bite me just now. I feed them with cucumber because Goldie eat cucumber super fast. Then, he'll take Puffy one away. Leaving Puffy with no food. Bad boy. I always scold him that =D

Climbing up to reach the cucumber up there

Stealing Puffy's cucumber again

Searching for more food =D

The first time I got a nice picture of him =D

Friday, April 16, 2010

I feel like cutting my hair short. Hmmm. Should I cut it? I know I'm only asking for fun. I can never cut it. Can't do it =/ Maybe I love my hair too much. I never cut it short before except when I was young =p That is not what I want. Parents cut one so.. I think I prefer long hair but the weather is really killing me. Sigh. Hot. Anyone wants to help the earth? trying to save the Earth but it's so hard. Hmmm

I'm still waiting for Tony to come and fetch me to P1tstop. I have to give back W1max already. Oh no. Back to the sloww Streamyx. *shake head* I'm so used to the 2.4mbps W1max that my current Streamyx speed is like tortoise. Ughh.

*He's a SLOW COUCH and always late*
*Shhh. He doesn't know this -.^ *

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Parents can be so annoying at times. Damnit.

Today I got scolded like million of times and also hear them mumble. Grrr. I hate it when they start disturbing me with their talkkkkkkkk.

Ok. I gotta chill now. Sigh. Pity my sister got scolded like crazy because i asked her to come and choose present for my mum =.=

Oh well. Then I should try to chill before i burst and scold them =/


i am finally updating my blog. miracle!! i know I've been ignoring my blog since like months ago.

I'm updating my blog with my new laptop -.^ so so so sorry to Dahling and Hung Mei. now you can read it already. It's gonna be full of words.

so now, I'm confirm going in to Penang TARC already. Now waiting for my car to come. Me new car =D Actually not really new it's secondhand car. I'm so happy cause I got a car, laptop and also GUINEA PIG.

Talking about my guinea pig makes me feel happy. =D They're the cutest thing on earth and I love them [= On the 13th of March, I got my first guinea pig. Her name is puffy. Then a few weeks later, I went to Ee Ling's house with I-Lyn to fetch my another guinea pig back. I-Lyn is the first person to sit in my car. As in my driving. Luckily I'm a safe driver =p Right, Lyn? =D I introduce the male one to the female one and in like less than 5 minutes he was making love with my Puffy already. Ee Ling, I-Lyn and I were watching them like...... He is sooooooo GATAL *shake head* I decided to name him Goldie cause he is kinda gold in colour.

This is their new house after I put those PVC pipe up [=

The black nose one is Puffy and the one behind is Goldie

Proceed to my laptop. My laptop reached my house when I was out. I reach home and ta-da. My laptop. Pink colour =D My favourite colour.

I work for London Weight Management. With I-Lyn. We reached there late. So yea... As usual le. Then, what we do is sit and sit. I wanted to approach the customer but end up sitting cause I don't know how to approach them. After lunch about 4 something, a girl came. She took our things then she start checking. We looked at her and then she say she's the supervisor =.= I was like okay we're so dead. She was there until we finish job. She say if we can't sell one voucher the company have to fire us already. So, forced to work. Stand til leg pain and she still don't want to go back. At the end of the day, she say tomorrow we don't have job already =O

After that, P1 W1max want to hire me. For PC Fair. So, I went for the training. I know 3 crazy people namely Kent, Tony, BGal (that's what Kent ask me to call him). They're very funny and I start to talk to them after awhile. Thanks to Kent now my name become Chanel. Start working on Friday. The job isn't easy. Standing there is really hard. Leg hurt. Back hurt too. Sigh. The first day I managed to sell one. I saw Eu Ern and Jimmy there. I smiled to Eu Ern and then Jimmy asked him LOUDLY, why you two didn't talk one. I was like =.= I didn't talk to him you also want to worry. Same goes to second day. Pei Ying start working on the second day =D Got friend already. We don't even have some time to eat. Every time we eat, Kent surely call and ask where are we and stuff. Grrr. Not blaming him. I know he's doing what boss asking him to do. Third day. Lots of people and I didn't wake up on time. I wanted to go bathe time Tony and Kent already waiting for me =/ So, I rush like crazy. Really tiring. Sigh. I managed to sell three on the last day. Kinda proud of myself but overall sales wasn't that good. Eat with boss and also all the colleagues. After finish eating, boss started scolding. Sigh. Most of them didn't manage to sell any. Somehow I feel it's really hard to do sales. But when I tried to pull customer in to P1 booth, the comment I got is P1 sucks, no line, got already, I want to terminate =.= This is the very common one. There's a girl. I think she loves hair band. Three days with hair band and the second day and last day with her super huge ribbon hair band. All she do is stand and smile. Guess what. She got the top sales for the last day!! She don't even ask customer. Luck is on her side. Sigh. No luck for all of us.

I just got bite from Goldie. He's a bad boy =( Bite me.

* I forgot the part that the Supervisor of London Weight Management ask me to go work for them back. She was there at PC Fair. She saw me then ask me work back and ppk P1 =/ *

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


guess what. i saw him with his gf. when i was on the way walking to work. he was walking the opposite direction. he saw me but he IGNORED me. plus he walk pass me without even looking! damn him. arghhh! hate him. ignore me. i stared at him!!! i hate him so much. ignore me. i regret knowing him! how can you ignore someone that you know? he ignored so many people. if he's blind i can forgive him. but he's not!! ARGHH. don't want to talk bout it already. he is STUPID. got gf already want to ignore me.

today all the buses are late. i think they woke up late. hmmm. all of them are pigs! =D luckily i'm not late for work. working already. bye

Monday, January 11, 2010

i'm having bad feelings. blogging from my office. my senior not here so i can go online. actually she doesn't care as long my work is done on time =D let's talk bout my feelings. i'm talking to this person. everytime i online i sure talk to him one. either he come and talk to me or i talk to him only. well, it feel normal talking to him of course. sometimes it reminds me of other things. i don't know why but maybe because they're related? or somehow there's just this very weird feeling. as if i'm talking to him. he even asked me a very weird question. maybe i'm having weird feelings after all. i don't know why i always have those feelings. it's kinda bad. the feeling of my heart got pricked by some sharp things, squeezed to hell. and sometimes the feeling is so bad that i feel like vomiting when i look at foods =.= i feel so stupid seriously. arghh!

my office is cold. freezing. today it's cold. usually i got no feeling. like no air cond. hmmm. i'm currently addicted to the song shuo huang and 第幾個100天.

hope my bad feelings will go away soon =/ bye. need to start working already