Friday, November 14, 2008

how do i feel today?

i don't know. haih. i found out something. won't be telling here. will just keep it in my heart. he is working now. i don't want make my blog sounds like a sad blog. but =( my heart isn't helping. what can i do. haihs. i cried in school. because erm. i think i miss him. and everyone around me ask about this and that. i can't take it. so i cried. i just miss him so much. memories. ok lets start from. how we meet. did i wrote about this before. i don't care. we meet erm. during this band thingy in youth park. i'm in band. and he went there with his frens. to watch or something like that. i realised he was there. cause my friend know one of them. from my tuition. i don't know when we met. ok. continue. evrything was erm. ok. then at night i got tuition. this fren told me that he say i'm pretty. then i don't believe him cause i don't know why he don't sound serious so i look at him with the eye. then. he told me again in a serious type. well that time i can't remember how he look like already. i just remember his sling bag and his pants same colour. cool right the way i remember =p everything was normal. then went to school. my friend ask for my number. i told her that i'm going to change number already. she say it's ok after change number only give her the new one cause she need it for some band thing. and then. at night. someone misscall me. my brain told me that there's 2 possibility. is either my friend that ask for my number or him. i was like keep thinking. what if it's him. what should i do. but how can he get my number. i can't really sleep. the next day i reach school straight away find for my friend and as kabput the girl's number. she say that girl won't misscall other people. so i was like. OMG! don't tell me it's him. so my friend and me was planning the whole day. how to call that person and ask. i asked my friend to help me cause my number was out of credit =] she sms that person. tuition time. i reach tuition. open door my friend ran out and start saying stuff that i don't understand. after she calm down then only i know that she's trying to say it's him. i can't remember what's my expression already. that's all for today. continue soon. boring story for most of you. it's a memory for me.

today working was a bit hard. cause they let me be cashier in the liquor and wine part. then i was like so blur. don't know where's all the stuff. tomorrow working again. 12pm =( oh. and there's a crazy indian man. he scolded one of the wrapper or something cause they don't want to give him another extra plastic bag. really stupid. now want to save world use less plastic bag he want more plastic bag. crazy man!! he just bought 4 bucks plus mia stuff and he want an extra plastic. he shouted and scold so damn loud that the whole process in Sunshine stopped. everyone's looking at him and he scold even louder. he keep repeat what he say. like. you tak ada brain. den you tak sakit hati i sakit hati. 4 ringgit you tahu tak. and bla bla bla. and then this supervisor in the liqour place. he really. ishness ok!he keep calling and talk on the phone. don't know what business also. and then. when everyone close only he come and count my money. damn him. make me so so so damn in hurry. so i just do everything. and he angry cause i press the wrong thing. damn him! who ask him so slow. he think i'm like him so free. i want to be fast that's why. ishness mia really!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy 3 years and 4 months anniversary my dear. it'll be so long already if dear did not ask for break up. there's something that i want to give you. i know u don't want it so.... will just keep it.

p.s. I STILL LOVE YOU MY DEAR. je t'aime cher pour toujours.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

still feeling pain

this few days i start crying again. i don't know why. i miss him. i miss you dear. wherever u are. do u know i miss you? i want to keep my promise. one is the one i make with him. another with my another friend. i don't mean to do that. i just feel pain and that can make me feel better. really it does. i just miss all the moments we spend together. i want to hug you dear. hope dear exam is ok. good luck for your exam cher. i don't know what to post. cause now no matter what i write is sure sad stuff. i read all the messages he sent just now. in the morning. i didn't go to school. boring. got very bad position in the whole form. but good already ler for a girl who did not study. miracles. where is my dear? i want to put up all our memories here.

i short 75cents today. because of the uncle. stupid mia. go give me 10cents for what. oh. i'm working at sunshine farlim. until 18th of november. then i'm going to gama already. cause there i can get more money =] my ear hurts. don't kn0w what happen to it. aahhh. i don't care anymore. let it be.

p.s. bébé je t'aime cher pour toujours

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

i'm back with an empty and lonely heart

yes. i blog again already. a lot of ppl start complaining about my blog. i just feel sad! real sad. anyone that can cure me? haih. why must it be so painful? can't it be easier? can't i just use an eraser and erase it away from my memory? can i? i can't. i love him. with my whole heart. i already take him as my first and also the last bf. and also my future husband. i love you dear. wherever u are. i know u don't like it. i didn't write that for fun. now winter is not warm anymore!!! it's going to be cold. with my lonely n empty heart. waiting for him to reply my heart. it's already the 16th days since dear ask for break up. when will dear come back? dear don't let talk about the past. what am i supposed to do? i love you still do love you. forever will love you. baby will wait for dear. if dear ever change mind. i'm here. u guys may think i'm stupid to wait for him. i know but i know it's worth it. i am waiting. waiting for miracles. christmas without dear will be so not fun. i know i control you too much dear. i want to do something to it. i hope i have the chance. don't tell me to do it for my next bf. i don't want!