Friday, May 28, 2010

You make me smile [=
Thank You

That talk really made me cried. My tears drop without me realising how sad it is to talk about that to you. Now that I know more, things wouldn't be the same anymore I guess. Things are just temporary. It's all just a dream. When I wake up, things wouldn't be the same anymore. Though you make me happy and laugh, you made me sad and feel hurt too.

*I will wake up from my dream soon

1. I can't donate my blood because of I'm under 45kg.
2. I am feeling sad and I want to go out from house
3. I have to wake up. The feelings is coming back. Exactly the same feeling I used to have. Just that it's not the same person anymore
4. I'm having shaky legs because of the Wesak Day thing. I can't go down the stairs properly
5. I need to walk properly. Open my eyes to look at roads. Stop falling again
6. I have to try to contact lesser with that person. Unless I know what is that person thinking about. Sighh. It's hard to find out. Sometimes I wonder that person treat me as a friend or more than that.
7. Why do I care about those feelings? Didn't I said I want to concentrate on studies?????
8. I feel like hurting myself again. Damn it =/
9. I paint my nails to college and my parents say I go college to attract guys not study =.=
10. My mum remind me to STUDY and don't pak toh or have any other feelings. And I'm already having those feelings. Is it even possible to take it back?? I don't think so.
11. I have to stop waking up in the middle of the night. Seriously, I have to stop worrying =( It makes me feel tired in the morning.
12. Promise = Sad = NO

My listttt. =.= It's so stupid. I went out yesterday for my group's outing. Summer [= Funny and also Shrek movie is sooo nice! Wonderful movie. Love shrek so much ;) Before the movie, we went to Sakae Sushi. I was suprised they charge for the tea and also the tissues =.= I think I won't go there anymore. Maybe I will after I forget about it. Then movies. Nice movie =D LOVE IT! proceed to after movie. went to a restaurant? beside Coffee Island. Cockroaches went up my friend's leg. She was shouting so loud that the other table's people was looking at us as if we're mad. The guys were scared of it too. Lol. Except for Alex. Funny part. She freaked out. Ughh. Luckily the cockroach did not choose me. =D

This is the thing that has been worrying me a lot. Things started to happen when I was in college. When I start knowing that person. I hate thinking about it. The reason why I always wake up middle of the night I guess. Sigh. I hope I don't have to but after talking about that particular topic with that person, it really scares me. I don't know about that person. Obviously I know about that person interest and things like that. But not feelings. That is the thing I want to know yet don't want to know. What if the outcome is not what I expected? Things will be very weird after that. It wouldn't be the same anymore. I enjoy the laughter and everything that we shared but I don't know where it'll lead to. What if those things lead to those bad past? =( I'm kinda scared. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that. But I just cant control it. Those happy moments look like it'll be gone when I wake up. I still can't believe that it is not a dream. Those moments. [= Something that I would like to keep but I know things like that don't last. I shouldn't say so much. I don't want it to be so obvious yet I want it to be. This is me. I can't make up my mind. I want to spend all my time with that person. But it doesn't seem right. Things are getting complicated and I shouldn't have those feelings THAT FAST! I'll just go with the flow. Hope things go where I want it to be [=

Assignments are #$^&*(# I don't like it. Okayy. It's not bad. I'm the lazy one that is why I'm complaining, Oh well. Haha. Lotsa hw to do. One day holiday means we got more work than usual. Oh gosh. I better start working instead of blogging. And also studying instead of thinking of those things.

Hw time ;) Remember to do your homework too BIG BABY xP

Saturday, May 22, 2010

woot. i'm back again. college started for a week already. and it's kinda fun except for my English class. She make me hate the class =( I don't wanna hate the class. Actually, I don't know why I hate the class also =.= I'm just weird. I got perli because of my CUTE size. Haha. I'm cute aren't I? *self perasan* lalala. I'm not happy with my size but I'm used to those perli stuff. =D

Things happen in this few days. Skipping that part. Not important though [=

The bad part was I've been blocked again. This time I sms him and asked him what does he want. As expected he did not reply. So I decide to forget bout it. Not important to me anymore. Ruin my mood on that day =/

I got nothing to say now. Gahh. Brain is blank. =O Gotta help sis with her folio. As if I'm doing the folio instead of her =.= Andd, I got assignment already. NOOOOO. I don't know why but I'm having weird feelings. This is bad. Always happen to me. Does everyone got the feeling? Or I'm the weird one with those weird feelings all the time? Shoo the feeling away. It's better to be feeling-less I guess. Then I won't have to think what is wrong with me =.=

Night. I better start doing her folio =(

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day, Happy Tzu Chi Day and Wesak Day

I woke up at 5am today. Super sleepy. The feeling of waking up early really suck. And i slept at 1am which means I only sleep for like 4 hours =/ Went to Tzu Chi for the bathing Buddha ceremony. The thing started at 6am and ended about 8.30 am. Then, after the ceremony is over, the ppl from Butterworth came. So it's their turn to continue with the ceremony. My sis had to stay there to assist them as they do not know how to do the things and everything. Of course the way is not the same as the normal bathing Buddha thing. While waiting for my sister, we were asked to do the tea ceremony. Since it's Mothers' Day, the kids were asked to serve Mum tea. Besides that, we also use a handkerchief to wipe our mum's face. Then kneel down to serve them tea. I took some picts too and then while walking around Tzu Chi I also took a few pict. It was a special day and indeed I had fun there even though waking up early is soo not me.

Bro giving mum her tea. I asked him to take pict of me but he ended saying I can't take. Can't fit =.=

Mum drinking my tea. Bro is really a bad photographer =.=

After drinking tea ceremony. Mum [=

The seat in front of the lift

Before going up the stairs

Stairs [=

The place where everyone gather to bath the Buddha and it is taken from where I'm waiting for my sis. Blocked by the trees =.=


Bro with bamboos (and his tummy =p)
Gahh. I hate it. I found out that actually my ex been blocking me using his younger brother's Facebook account. Of course he did blocked me too le. Sometimes I don't know what is he up to actually. Then, his brother started talking to me in MSN. He asked for my Facebook name so I gave him but he said he can''t find me. Same goes to me. He went to check his blocked list and yes, I was blocked like what I thought. He unblocked me until yesterday or the day before, he went to his brother's account and blocked me again. I was so pissed off with him. His brother of course unblocked me. He seriously need to respect ppl's privacy. His brother feels that he do so is because of he's scared I'll ruin his relationship. So i was thinking, does he think I still like him or something. Do I really need to do that? This really make me think awhile is he being too perasan or something =.= I do not care bout him. As long as I'm happy with the people around me, I'll continue mixing with them.
After that, I went to Tzu Chi to practice the next day bathing Buddha steps. It wasn't that easy and also not too hard. But under the hot sun really make it harder. So long didn't stand under the hot sun already.

Tomorrow, which is later is my college orientation day. I feel lazy when think of need to wake up early. I really will miss the feeling of sleeping late and waking up late. Plus with nothing to do at home except for playing games, guinea pigs and watching movies. That is really fun. Start of college means studying, serious, waking up early =/

Night. Better sleep early [=

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Games Games Games

The title of this post is obviously about the game I'm so addicted to. I just only finish playing the game. Trying sooo hard to level up. Gahh. I need to stop playing so much. Before this was movies movies movies and now its games games games =.= I guess I'm just too free that I need to find things to do. Luckily there's a story book for me to read. I'm so worried that I'll spoil my eyes thanks to too much of tvss and laptopss. College is going to start REAL soon. I'm not sure if I'm even ready for it or not.

I've been complaining about no money but I wouldn't go work. There were many outings and I rejected most of it. Mostly because of no transport and no money. I need to keep money because my guinea pig needs food and also I need food. One of the reason why I'm so free. Cause I've been staying at home EVERYDAY! I don't even go out. Sometimes I follow my mum to fetch my siblings. Sometimes I fetch them. That is the only time I go out. Weekends supposed to be going out. But I did not because I have to stay at home with my chicky pox bro. Take care of him =.= He can't even control himself. I ask him to take it as on diet period since he's so fatt. I feel he look like Doraemon =O Oh. He call himself 'chicken pox human'. We laughed when he said that. Plus with his expression. =D

Time to read story book and sleep. Night