Friday, May 28, 2010

1. I can't donate my blood because of I'm under 45kg.
2. I am feeling sad and I want to go out from house
3. I have to wake up. The feelings is coming back. Exactly the same feeling I used to have. Just that it's not the same person anymore
4. I'm having shaky legs because of the Wesak Day thing. I can't go down the stairs properly
5. I need to walk properly. Open my eyes to look at roads. Stop falling again
6. I have to try to contact lesser with that person. Unless I know what is that person thinking about. Sighh. It's hard to find out. Sometimes I wonder that person treat me as a friend or more than that.
7. Why do I care about those feelings? Didn't I said I want to concentrate on studies?????
8. I feel like hurting myself again. Damn it =/
9. I paint my nails to college and my parents say I go college to attract guys not study =.=
10. My mum remind me to STUDY and don't pak toh or have any other feelings. And I'm already having those feelings. Is it even possible to take it back?? I don't think so.
11. I have to stop waking up in the middle of the night. Seriously, I have to stop worrying =( It makes me feel tired in the morning.
12. Promise = Sad = NO

My listttt. =.= It's so stupid. I went out yesterday for my group's outing. Summer [= Funny and also Shrek movie is sooo nice! Wonderful movie. Love shrek so much ;) Before the movie, we went to Sakae Sushi. I was suprised they charge for the tea and also the tissues =.= I think I won't go there anymore. Maybe I will after I forget about it. Then movies. Nice movie =D LOVE IT! proceed to after movie. went to a restaurant? beside Coffee Island. Cockroaches went up my friend's leg. She was shouting so loud that the other table's people was looking at us as if we're mad. The guys were scared of it too. Lol. Except for Alex. Funny part. She freaked out. Ughh. Luckily the cockroach did not choose me. =D

This is the thing that has been worrying me a lot. Things started to happen when I was in college. When I start knowing that person. I hate thinking about it. The reason why I always wake up middle of the night I guess. Sigh. I hope I don't have to but after talking about that particular topic with that person, it really scares me. I don't know about that person. Obviously I know about that person interest and things like that. But not feelings. That is the thing I want to know yet don't want to know. What if the outcome is not what I expected? Things will be very weird after that. It wouldn't be the same anymore. I enjoy the laughter and everything that we shared but I don't know where it'll lead to. What if those things lead to those bad past? =( I'm kinda scared. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that. But I just cant control it. Those happy moments look like it'll be gone when I wake up. I still can't believe that it is not a dream. Those moments. [= Something that I would like to keep but I know things like that don't last. I shouldn't say so much. I don't want it to be so obvious yet I want it to be. This is me. I can't make up my mind. I want to spend all my time with that person. But it doesn't seem right. Things are getting complicated and I shouldn't have those feelings THAT FAST! I'll just go with the flow. Hope things go where I want it to be [=

Assignments are #$^&*(# I don't like it. Okayy. It's not bad. I'm the lazy one that is why I'm complaining, Oh well. Haha. Lotsa hw to do. One day holiday means we got more work than usual. Oh gosh. I better start working instead of blogging. And also studying instead of thinking of those things.


Hw time ;) Remember to do your homework too BIG BABY xP

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