Sunday, July 25, 2010

What The ...

Okay. This guy is giving me weird reactions o.O I mean normal friends don't do that, do they? Crap laa. I feel so bad. Is he jealous? He sound jealous to me. Should stop talking about this kind of things with him. *breathe breathe* He's a friend who is jealous I treat other guy better. Yea yea. That must be it. Okayy. Everything is settled. =( It's NOT! Arghh. *faint* Act normal. Yeaaa. This is the only way [=
After so many emo post, I'm blogging a not emo one =p I miss someone. Random me. Lol. College life seems better now. I feel less stress already. Maybe because the scary exams are over. And also the assignments are the easy ones only. Not the one which need us to crack head and think bout it. I'm glad. Plus plus, finals is another week time only. Scared and also glad is ending soon. Time flies. One sem going to finish already. =/ I don't want it to finish so fast. =(( Don't want to go working life that fast!

College means classmates. Well, there's this guy in my class. Erm, should I call him a guy or a girl? Or maybe half? I'm not trying to discriminate him. But he really annoy ppl. He treat everyone as if the whole world owe him something. he only treat some of us nicely. The same group ppl with him. Which is my assignment group ppl. That is the only ppl who he talk to and treat nicely. The rest of them, he look and stare at them. He talk to them in a weird way =/ It makes me feel bad cause I'm mixing with such kind of ppl. All of them are my classmates too. He just talk to them as if they did something to him =.= I want to avoid him already. The way he wear his shirt is like =.= And also his sooooo damn wonderful recycling bag. Oh wonderful. Can't he just say he want to put his bag in one of our cars. There's three car there. He can't put at his motor he can put in one of our car. Not as if there is some valueable things in the bag. It's only books =.= He button up all his buttons and put up his collar =.= Seriously, this is just SOOO NERD! I am not a person who can stand nerd. I will feel weird walking beside them. I know I'm evil. But I don't care. He discriminate my classmates. I'll discriminate him. And he follow where we walk. We walk to the right, he follows. We walk to the left, he follow too. As if we're magnets pulling him around. What the.... We tried to shoo him away but it just doesn't work =/ We're always the last one to go out from class. Somehow, I don't know why. Maybe because after each class, we'll sit and talk instead of packing things and go out. Then, he'll stand there and wait for us =( My way of asking him to go away. "Can you pleaseee don't be a light bulb. We need to have some private time together" This only work when other classmates are not around. Lol. I should stop talking bad about him/her already. Seriously he's so gay. I guess he need a mental checkup. Some mental prob. Ppl ask him do survey, he'll ask this and that. Ask till that person say it's ok don't have to do already. Gosh. They're tarcians too. What can they do? And ppl give brochure. He also ask this and ask that. He ask in a way that make ppl feel he's very annoying. Somehow he has the way. Gosh. Okayy. Really stopping now =/

You make me smile yet you make me down =]/=(

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I just realise so many things happen in two days time. It started with that person got angry. Thanks to my stare =.= I didn't know I give that stare but I did. And I made that person got mad. The first time I see that person got mad at me. Hmm. And well, somehow when I asked for the reason I knew it wasn't because of other people that person got mad. There's something else. At last that person told me the truth. I am really sorry if I gave that stare. It's the same when that person mention things that made me sad too. That person didn't realise it too. Not gonna talk about it. Then at night, I started to think about what my sis said to me. Is she right? I think of what I-Lyn said to me too. Did I really go beyond that? Should I keep back? I am happy when I'm with that person. Sometimes I wish that day wouldn't end so that I have more time cause I don't know how tomorrow will be. But when it comes to questions, I don't know how to answer. I can't answer we are couple and I can't answer we're not when we look like one =.= Gahh. Everyone thought we are when we are not. I mean they assume that we are already.

Now, I'm down. I was happy. Really very. Till just now. When I realise that person can give up time for friends but not me. I'm not trying to say that person can't mix with friends and I do understand it's hard to plan an outing with friends. To make that outing happen, everyone needs to be free. But my things aren't happening so soon. It'll only be happening again next year. it's NEXT YEAR! And I'm sure I ask that person out first before that person's friends does. Isn't it people who book first get the place? Why is it different for that person? Why sacrifice my part to do other things? We find for time. If that person really cares, I guess that person will find time and not give reasons. I'm not trying to be not understanding here. It's not the first time I'm getting such answers. I guess next time I will not ask that person out already. I'll just wait for that person to ask. That person wants to be passive then I'll be passive too. I'm sick of being active all the time.

I'm gonna start complain about college life again. Really so busy =/ There's only a few weeks left to final exam. It's sooo fast. One sem gonna finish already. Did time just fly? Can it crawl?? I hope it can. Hmm

My birthday is coming soon [= I'm not that excited for this year's birthday. I don't know. Maybe cause I'm down now so I don't feel excited. I want a camera now. How I wish I'll get a camera. Birthday means I'll be officially 18years old already. It feel so old to be 18 =/ I'm getting older. Is that a good thing or a bad one?

Night.. It's late and I better go to sleep already.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I am disappointed again. Sighh. I mean this is not the first time this thing happened. I don't want to say it but then, I don't know le. I don't want to make things become bad or anything. But if I don't say it, my heart doesn't feel well. That is the thing. Should I say or should I not? I'm really confused. I kinda look forward towards it but now I'm being let down. GAHHH! Seriously, I hate the feeling. What am I doing? Dealing with something that never happened to me before. Hmm. Or maybe I used to do that to people. Now I'm getting it back? Is it so? Nooo. Anyone can do that to me but not that person le. I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING LET DOWN! I should ask the person who I did this to before. I guess it's the same feeling as I am now. Okayyy. Now I feel bad already. This is really not a good feeling. I'm so sorry to the person who I did this to. I mean that person wouldn't know I'm apologising, but at least I did. So I don't feel that bad doing this to that person. It's not like I mean it.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


There's been a lot of things happening in my life currently. College is one of it. And the worst. I am so sick of it. I thought it would be more relaxing. But I don't feel relaxed. It's like every week I have assignments or exams or presentation to do. I never have a week which is free from all those work since the week 5 of my college week. Now, the prom night is coming soon. I still haven't make decision whether to go or not to go. It's kinda stupid from what I heard, All we gonna do there is to sit and watch performance. There won't be any food. Plus it's from 5.30 until 10pm. This will seriously cause me to sleep in it. 4 hours plus in the hall with FORMAL clothes just to watch performance =.= It's on Monday the thing is. How am I supposed to get ready? I can't go back home get ready then only go back to college. My class finishes at 3pm on Monday. It's gonna be super rushy. Maybe I'll consider going next year. Since next year will be my last year already [=

That person [= Things been going well with that person. I was sad the other day because of what that person said again. I don't know why everything that person said will make me sad. I mean most of the things le. Not all. =.= I was suprised that person can even spell my name wrongly. Spelled another person's name (kinda same name but different spelling). I don't know what is their relationship but I guess it must be someone kinda special to that person. I saw the same name person in that person's phone. Hmm. And yea. I finally know that person's feeling towards me. I'm happy it's a good thing. If not, I don't know how am I gonna face that person. There is some thing that I can say may stop us from being together. I really hope that something wouldn't happen and I am kinda scared. Plus, the person still haven't really forget about the past. I guess I should just wait till that person forget about the past before I step in more. I know it's not easy but I hope that person can forget about it. I will wait [= That person might not be my bai ma wang zi. But that person somehow just managed to take away every bit of my heart. It feels good to be beside that person. That person talk without thinking, so there's a lot of things he said that kinda hurt me but well, I still feel ok except for certain things =/

I know sometimes when I'm sad, I'll ignore that person. Same when I'm angry. I know that person don't know what to do when I ignore. I don't talk to that person when that person talks to me. I just stare and talk to other people. Somehow, I know it's not a good thing but I just don't feel like talking to that person. When I'm sad and it's because of what that person said, I can't talk to that person. I'll start to feel even sad. And I seriously don't wanna cry in front of that person anymore. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I hope you'll understand. I feel bad too I ignored you. Sometimes, when that person said something, I just feel that I got no more hope. It's like that person doesn't care about me. I always think that much. I'm crazy. That's a fact that is undeniable. Human make mistakes. I know that.

It's study time. Bye. Gonna update my blog as soon as I'm free again [=

It's gonna be two months already we know each other [=