Sunday, February 8, 2009

ok. something weird just happen. my godbro go crazy. he ask me to argue with him. our argument topic is argue! lol. it's really funny

ARièl says:
lai sis
we argue also
charmaine says:
wat to argue leh?
lol. we dont have anything to argue
ARièl says:
argue bout...
i ask u to argue u dont wan argue
wats wrong la
argue also wrong meh
tell me wats wrong la
siao mia
charmaine says:
cham liao bro crazy
i dont wan argue cannot r?
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
charmaine says:
argue very fun meh?
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
nid to argue!
charmaine says:
why cannot?
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
cause i say cannot!
charmaine says:
not fun also
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
very fun
charmaine says:
why bro say cannot sis must listen leh?
no not fun. sis say not fun!
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
cause bro is elder!
bro smrter
charmaine says:
no! sis smarter k!
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
fun la
more chi kek
charmaine says:
perasan bro!
[c=40]ARièl [/c] says:
high 5!
we did it!
we argue!

that is our argue part! lol. really funny ler. we argue about argue. hmm. deep. hahahaha. only crazy ppl like my bro n me can do that =p

i just realise that my life is miserable. i'm sad all the time. i never feel happy before since last october. i wonder what will happen to me if i continue like this. will i go crazy? i want to drink. i will bug my cousin to bring me go club drink. if i got caught by police, then say haleluya to me! as long as i can forget about all those sad stuff. I DON'T CARE! i guess i changed since the day he went away. i start drinking, my attitude changed.... or mayb i'm still the same? i don't drink. this is my first year drinking. hmmm.

feel so bad. i know you care about me. i'm really sorry to treat you like that. i told you i don't want to have bf now. i don't want take other guy to forget him. that's not the way. you are a good guy. why don't you just go and find other girl than wait for me? i don't know how long i will take to forget about him. you did so much to make me happy but i have no feelings towards you. i really don't have feelings towards anyone now. i'm bad. i don't want to stop talking to you cause if i do so i will feel bored. i'm so BAD! i'm a bad bad girl. sorry sorry sorry. maybe i should stop talking to him. he bought so many things for me but i can't find a way to say no. if i say so i will break his heart. gahh. if i accept he will mistaken. this is shit! hate all this. i know i treat you coldly. i don't want to. i treat you too good you'll put more hope. i will not accept your presents anymore. this valentine's gift will be the last! i must do it.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

stop thinking

do not think

you think too much

it's not true

your mind is playing you

he doesn't care about you

he love other girl now. not you.


that's one of the reason why i seldom online

i will surely think till i cry

i hate this feeling but i have to go on my life with it

he is the sun and the girl is the tree. the tree needs the sun to survive.

i need him to survive too. but he doesn't care.
wine = fun

drink it fast = cold. ice in the body

drink more = liver cancer (that's what he say)

at last = waiting for my liver cancer to come (he doesn't care, so?)

while drinking = i have fun. i go hyper, talk nonsense, stop thinking about the sad things

parents = mum don't care, dad scold =.=

friends = pei ying will tell my parents if i still continue drinking ( i drink without their knowledge =D )

him = doesn't care. no reaction.

effect = face turn red!

now, i sprain my leg. i can't walk. it hurts. =( stupid leg. all the time. wonder what's wrong with it. maybe my legs are not strong anymore. i shall go check when my mum agree. she doesn't care about me. today i start drinking some erm. nutrition juice. i wan to grow tall. getting fatter thanks to CNY biscuits.going to school will help me become thinner.sad more will make me even thinner but it's bad for my body. homework is tonnes. wonder when will i finish it up. keep on piling up my homework is not the best way. shall do more homework to forget things. lazy =/ i must go on with my life. hard. i feel erm.... *speechless*

Sunday, February 1, 2009


everything he said is always in my head. i only have to read it twice and it will stick in my head already. i still remember what he said to that girl in his message. the girl must be very lucky to have his love. i am the one who doesn't know how to appreciate it at the first place. i should not complain so much. i just hope everything can disappear. what cyn said is right. i did not delete everything about him that's why i can't forget about him. can i delete it? i know i will regret if i delete it. i'm not letting any guys know more about me. i keep everything to myself. i don't trust any guys. i know some of them just want to help me but i really don't want to accept it. i'm scared. i'm so sorry if i hurt any of your feelings. that is the best i can do. i keep say i want to forget about him but actually i don't want. the memories are too sweet for me to forget and delete it. i don't want to let other guy take over his place. and i don't think any guy can ever take over his place. sometimes i'm so disappointed with myself. i'm just making myself suffer. how can i ever forget all those sweet times we've been through. it's so so so so sweet that i can't delete it from my head.

P.S. you don't know how much pain i'm in. it's easy for you cause you're the one who ask for break up.