still feeling pain

this few days i start crying again. i don't know why. i miss him. i miss you dear. wherever u are. do u know i miss you? i want to keep my promise. one is the one i make with him. another with my another friend. i don't mean to do that. i just feel pain and that can make me feel better. really it does. i just miss all the moments we spend together. i want to hug you dear. hope dear exam is ok. good luck for your exam cher. i don't know what to post. cause now no matter what i write is sure sad stuff. i read all the messages he sent just now. in the morning. i didn't go to school. boring. got very bad position in the whole form. but good already ler for a girl who did not study. miracles. where is my dear? i want to put up all our memories here.

i short 75cents today. because of the uncle. stupid mia. go give me 10cents for what. oh. i'm working at sunshine farlim. until 18th of november. then i'm going to gama already. cause there i can get more money =] my ear hurts. don't kn0w what happen to it. aahhh. i don't care anymore. let it be.

p.s. bébé je t'aime cher pour toujours

OMG! exams is coming. i'm not ready yet. form 4 is such a tough year. so many things to handle yet so many problems happen. i want to go back to form 3. no. i don't even want to go back to last few years life don't say now. is this what life is for? i wish my life will be better when i grow older and when i learn more of life. there's so many things to fight with. especially time. when you lose it, it'll never come back. i guess that's why nowadays people die at a young age. that's it. i hope i can make things go well by slowing down the time. sometimes when i want the time to go slower, it'll go faster. when i want it to go faster, it'll go slower. sometimes i'm so angry that i scold the clock. and then, i realised the clock can't listen because they don't have ears. example today, he's supposed to come to my house. i woke up at 7.15. then, he didn't wake up. so i fell asleep. and by the time i wake up it's 11 already. such a waste!. my mum came back at 12. i was so disappointed. i cried. not really ler. a few drops of tears came out. i prayed to God. because i want the time to go back to 7.30. then i realised, if the time really went back, then all the people that's working and everything. it'll be a big problem. huge mistakes. and i know God will not help me so i give up.

i'm using skype now! so fun. hahahha. as if. i don't even have a headset so what's so fun. i just have a webcam. anyone that have skype add me. guatphing =] have fun for the rest of the day. smile always. and think the positive side of life.

master bedroom XD

while i study, i think of something. i dream a lot when i study. haih. that's why i can't finish studying all the time. usual me =] i'm wondering why master bedroom is big and have toilet. then, something came up. i think it's because of erm... they have sex then, they need to wash up and everything. so i think that's why there's a toilet in master bedroom. but what if they do not have? ok. i'm starting to talk about toilet. why? i think i'm bored of studying. since i can't study. i shall talk about master bedroom's toilet. if master bedroom is without toilet then, after they have sex they must come out from the room and clean. i think last time people lazy to come out from their room after having sex that's why nowadays there's toilet in master bedroom. it's not i want to think nonsense. i'm not dirty minded. i'm still a human. human do think about all this things, right? xp pr i'm the only weird one?

exams coming and i'm still busy watching movie and going here and there. i'm worry but i don't seem to care about studying. something is not right. i won't feel worry last time. wehn i'm in form 1, 2 and 3. even if it's few days before exams, i won't feel scared. i just feel normal. now i changed. i feel scared. one week before exams i start worrying but i'm not studying. it's a good thing right i feel worry before exams? maybe there's good and bad for being worry. the goodness of being worry is i will study and i won't flunk. my mum will be happy i get good result. if i ever =] the badness is i will have more grey hair before the time i'm supposed to have it. hahaha

there's this friendship problems again. i think i'll just go on my life as usual. this year. a lot of things changed. people around me, tight schedule even i'm not in band anymore. just imagine if i'm in band. i don't think i'll be able to handle the stress. about friendship problems, i will keep it to myself. i will not say anything. they can do what they want to and say what they want to. i'll be like what mama say. neutral and think the positive side =] and my life will be much easier. hope so. i will treat everyone as usual. and forget about the past. i hope i can. i will think about that after exams.

P.S. the ones that think i like to act cute, i'm sorry i did not act cute. that's how i am and i don't like people who act cute so why would i be one. =]

peace. holidays coming soon. i'm so happy. not really. nothing much for this holiday. hope i get to go out more often.