question

i just realised a lot of people ask me this question. "Will u still accept him back if he come back to you one day. Eventhough he treat you so badly now." well. my answer is " Yes. If he come back i will definitely accept him back. I love him" and they all just say no medicine for me. hmm. is it wrong? i really do love him k? he can treat me badly. but the love just won't go away. he can have feelings for other girl. he can flirt around. he can remove everything about me from his life. eg. he deleted all our pictures. the video he did for me [luckily i still have a copy of it], he changed his bed position [well, you all can see from the older post what memories we have on his bed], he did not wear any of the necklace that has anything to do with us [eventhough he don't like the one his friends bought for him during his birthday (not his style) but he wear it cause he say no necklace to wear already] i will still love him.

friends... u all can say i'm stupid. but that is love isn't it? look at the pic up there ^^^ memories. there's too much thing that happen in that 3years and 3 months relationship. did anyone of you have that long relationship before? there's still something that is in my heart. the things that we plan. will it come true or will it be a dream in my heart? we planned to go australia after finish college. we plan what age want to marry, have baby. how old our baby will grow and we can enjoy our life. he open his restaurant and i will be the restaurant accountant. our future house. he bought a jigsaw puzzle and already stick it up for our future home. then, he said his grandma got a collection of rings. that ring will be for us to wear next time we marry. we wanted to go Genting Highlands to celebrate Christmas together. we wanted to go Bukit Merah and swim together. we wanted to rent a place to stay. at night we can go somewhere sit and look at stars together. he wanted to bring me to seberang shopping mall [he say it's not true] before he ask for break up, he wanted to bring umbrella for me cause it's going to rain already. and i'm walking to my friends house. he planned so much but he ask for break up. i really don't understand what he is thinking about..... and last year. he asked for break up. now he say last year he wanted to break up is because of he want to be single but he pity me that's why. but last year when i asked him why he want break up after we ok already, he say he scared he can't give me a good shelter and stuff. but i know last year reason is the real one. this year is the fake one. right???

p.s. yeap ken min. i hope you will be happy if that means i have to be sad. xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo 15times of _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _ for you

wesak day

hmmm. today i'm supposed to walk wif ze they all. but erm. i don't know. i feel so angry after reading someone's blog. so i decided to walk with my beloved. at least i don't have to feel angry. hahaha. i think i can't continue to treat everyone the same anymore. not as if they appreciate it. if they know how to appreciate then i will treat them the same. but too bad i can't anymore. they blame me for changing into the 'act cute' attitude. if i really change to that. then, what's the problem? it's not a bad attitude also. they don't like me becoming like that then they should tell me instead of talking bad about me behind me and act good in front of me. if i don't like someone, the way i treat them is not going to be the same too. so, they can't blame me if they say i changed. is because they making me hate them. that's why i changed =] oh well. i'm not going to try to do anything. i will let this go as it is. and if someone wants to talk to me. then, they can. they can tell me what they don't like about me. put as anonymous. i won't know who is that anymore. if you feel that it's better that way.

angry

i'm so damn angry right now. i just read someone's blog. and there's this thing. that make me so damn angry. she expect me to talk to her when it's not my fault. she started it and she want me to come talk to her. and she say i ask my other friends to go talk to her. i don't want to talk to her because i don't care. if they want talk to her then they can talk. i don't care. i'm angry that she say i should talk to her. why not she come and tell me what she hate about me? she said i change. it's my problem i want to change or not. it's my life. why should i follow what they want me to? i follow their way i'm like becoming their dog. if i really changed, then why no one ever tell me. why only a few of them say about it? i want to be what i want not be what they want me to be.

master bedroom XD

while i study, i think of something. i dream a lot when i study. haih. that's why i can't finish studying all the time. usual me =] i'm wondering why master bedroom is big and have toilet. then, something came up. i think it's because of erm... they have sex then, they need to wash up and everything. so i think that's why there's a toilet in master bedroom. but what if they do not have? ok. i'm starting to talk about toilet. why? i think i'm bored of studying. since i can't study. i shall talk about master bedroom's toilet. if master bedroom is without toilet then, after they have sex they must come out from the room and clean. i think last time people lazy to come out from their room after having sex that's why nowadays there's toilet in master bedroom. it's not i want to think nonsense. i'm not dirty minded. i'm still a human. human do think about all this things, right? xp pr i'm the only weird one?

exams coming and i'm still busy watching movie and going here and there. i'm worry but i don't seem to care about studying. something is not right. i won't feel worry last time. wehn i'm in form 1, 2 and 3. even if it's few days before exams, i won't feel scared. i just feel normal. now i changed. i feel scared. one week before exams i start worrying but i'm not studying. it's a good thing right i feel worry before exams? maybe there's good and bad for being worry. the goodness of being worry is i will study and i won't flunk. my mum will be happy i get good result. if i ever =] the badness is i will have more grey hair before the time i'm supposed to have it. hahaha

there's this friendship problems again. i think i'll just go on my life as usual. this year. a lot of things changed. people around me, tight schedule even i'm not in band anymore. just imagine if i'm in band. i don't think i'll be able to handle the stress. about friendship problems, i will keep it to myself. i will not say anything. they can do what they want to and say what they want to. i'll be like what mama say. neutral and think the positive side =] and my life will be much easier. hope so. i will treat everyone as usual. and forget about the past. i hope i can. i will think about that after exams.

P.S. the ones that think i like to act cute, i'm sorry i did not act cute. that's how i am and i don't like people who act cute so why would i be one. =]

peace. holidays coming soon. i'm so happy. not really. nothing much for this holiday. hope i get to go out more often.

well. this is my second blog already. i'm really disappointed. i just post up a poll. tell me what is all of you all definition of a true friends. i really hope i can know what is the real definition. i got a friend. i know - since std 2. and that is when - make me cry. i can't remember what happened that time. it's something that's very bad. i still remember i hide under the teacher's table and cried. it's so embarrassing. i decided to forgive -. and we were best friends. and then, now this happen. - did something that i'll call as backstabber. maybe - think it's not but i don't think - definition about backstabber is same like everyone. i have no comments about - anymore. just hope - will change =) if - still the same i'll not say anything about it anymore. so there is love. i have friends and i have lover. i don't know how to say it. it's just a stupid arguments. i don't understand why u know. guys don't know how to read girls mind =( is this how all couples go through? i guess it is ler. i can't think of anythin right now. i'll post up soon. i just came back from KL. and i'm still left behind. KL trip is from 3rd-6th of april. it was fun. spending more times with all my friends. i really have fun. hahaha. i hope the trip will never end. love it so much. love spending times with all my friends. they're just so wonderful. and also my beloved hubby. he's the best.