15th of december

it's our anniversary. which doesn't exist anymore. and also eunice's birthday!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL! i'm so so so sorry i can't go to queensbay. you know my mum. she don't really like me to go to queensbay already. remember before this we said that when it's ur birthday it's going to be our 3years and 5 months anniversary. but now, there's no more anniversary. i look to the future too fast. i even bought a present for our 4years anniversary already. how stupid am i?eunice, hope u are reading my blog. did u have fun? how was your birthday party? must be fun right? so sorry i can't go =/

4 more days. he will be my bf back. until the 1st of january 12am. then, i will have to start a new year with a new life. a life without him. can i go through the year or not? it all depends. it will be the toughest year ever. a year without him, SPM year, pressure year, have to accept the fact that he's going to be with another girl.... all that. it's going to be so hard. i have to go through it alone. everytime i see a guy that has some of his face structure or his hairstyle i will definitely look at the guy. it's like looking at him. how can i continue my life with this? i am just looking at the guy because he look like him. gosh. what is wrong with me? i want to forget about the past. i want to lost memory. i don't want to remember anything about the past.

i want to buy colour contact lens. but i guess it's expensive. never ask the price. don't dare to ask. =D tomorrow going back to school to buy exercise books. after that, i'm going out with soon wei. going to prangin. no money. can't buy much already. mum scolding me cause i bought a lot already. ben asked me to go to his church concert this coming friday, saturday and sunday. who to go with? at dewan sri pinang... christmas concert....