friday i went to i-lyn's house after add maths tuition. actually we wanted to go to batu feringghi but i-lyn's mum khi siau. hahaha. so can't go. went to i-lyn's house and then she cook for me egg. i don't know she can cook. hahaha. at least she cook better than me. if i cook i think the egg will become like shit. and then, i went to her room. play her violin! so proud cause she say i'm quite good for a beginner =p she's a scary teacher. she'll kill me. i'll post the video up even though i say i won't. don't worry. you'll be famous. if anyone read my blog. hahaha. sorry. i played twinkle twinkle. hahha. but it's like shit. but at least i can play right? my hand feel so pain after holding it. maybe i need to use a smaller one since i'm so small. it must be very cute =p and then, the next day. my shoulder there bone feel pain. i think it's because of the violin. bad bad =D

so saturday is june's birthday party. i can't go. because last night when i want to go to i-lyn's house and actually my mum don't let. i want to go. so they have to come fetch me. and i get scolded from my dad and mum. i think my mum get scolded from my dad. that's why she's not talking to me in the morning =( but after that she seems a bit better. she talk to me. but in a very. i don't know how to explain. scary =/

think

when you note 'thinking' and similarly with visions or images, you should pay particular attention to the contents of your thought. you should just note that there is thinking. if you were to go into the contents of your thought or whatever you were thinking about. you will end up thinking more. i get this thing from one of the temple i went. hahaha. but i feel it's true. don't think so much. hahahaha.

wesak day

hmmm. today i'm supposed to walk wif ze they all. but erm. i don't know. i feel so angry after reading someone's blog. so i decided to walk with my beloved. at least i don't have to feel angry. hahaha. i think i can't continue to treat everyone the same anymore. not as if they appreciate it. if they know how to appreciate then i will treat them the same. but too bad i can't anymore. they blame me for changing into the 'act cute' attitude. if i really change to that. then, what's the problem? it's not a bad attitude also. they don't like me becoming like that then they should tell me instead of talking bad about me behind me and act good in front of me. if i don't like someone, the way i treat them is not going to be the same too. so, they can't blame me if they say i changed. is because they making me hate them. that's why i changed =] oh well. i'm not going to try to do anything. i will let this go as it is. and if someone wants to talk to me. then, they can. they can tell me what they don't like about me. put as anonymous. i won't know who is that anymore. if you feel that it's better that way.

angry

i'm so damn angry right now. i just read someone's blog. and there's this thing. that make me so damn angry. she expect me to talk to her when it's not my fault. she started it and she want me to come talk to her. and she say i ask my other friends to go talk to her. i don't want to talk to her because i don't care. if they want talk to her then they can talk. i don't care. i'm angry that she say i should talk to her. why not she come and tell me what she hate about me? she said i change. it's my problem i want to change or not. it's my life. why should i follow what they want me to? i follow their way i'm like becoming their dog. if i really changed, then why no one ever tell me. why only a few of them say about it? i want to be what i want not be what they want me to be.

OMG! exams is coming. i'm not ready yet. form 4 is such a tough year. so many things to handle yet so many problems happen. i want to go back to form 3. no. i don't even want to go back to last few years life don't say now. is this what life is for? i wish my life will be better when i grow older and when i learn more of life. there's so many things to fight with. especially time. when you lose it, it'll never come back. i guess that's why nowadays people die at a young age. that's it. i hope i can make things go well by slowing down the time. sometimes when i want the time to go slower, it'll go faster. when i want it to go faster, it'll go slower. sometimes i'm so angry that i scold the clock. and then, i realised the clock can't listen because they don't have ears. example today, he's supposed to come to my house. i woke up at 7.15. then, he didn't wake up. so i fell asleep. and by the time i wake up it's 11 already. such a waste!. my mum came back at 12. i was so disappointed. i cried. not really ler. a few drops of tears came out. i prayed to God. because i want the time to go back to 7.30. then i realised, if the time really went back, then all the people that's working and everything. it'll be a big problem. huge mistakes. and i know God will not help me so i give up.

i'm using skype now! so fun. hahahha. as if. i don't even have a headset so what's so fun. i just have a webcam. anyone that have skype add me. guatphing =] have fun for the rest of the day. smile always. and think the positive side of life.

master bedroom XD

while i study, i think of something. i dream a lot when i study. haih. that's why i can't finish studying all the time. usual me =] i'm wondering why master bedroom is big and have toilet. then, something came up. i think it's because of erm... they have sex then, they need to wash up and everything. so i think that's why there's a toilet in master bedroom. but what if they do not have? ok. i'm starting to talk about toilet. why? i think i'm bored of studying. since i can't study. i shall talk about master bedroom's toilet. if master bedroom is without toilet then, after they have sex they must come out from the room and clean. i think last time people lazy to come out from their room after having sex that's why nowadays there's toilet in master bedroom. it's not i want to think nonsense. i'm not dirty minded. i'm still a human. human do think about all this things, right? xp pr i'm the only weird one?

exams coming and i'm still busy watching movie and going here and there. i'm worry but i don't seem to care about studying. something is not right. i won't feel worry last time. wehn i'm in form 1, 2 and 3. even if it's few days before exams, i won't feel scared. i just feel normal. now i changed. i feel scared. one week before exams i start worrying but i'm not studying. it's a good thing right i feel worry before exams? maybe there's good and bad for being worry. the goodness of being worry is i will study and i won't flunk. my mum will be happy i get good result. if i ever =] the badness is i will have more grey hair before the time i'm supposed to have it. hahaha

there's this friendship problems again. i think i'll just go on my life as usual. this year. a lot of things changed. people around me, tight schedule even i'm not in band anymore. just imagine if i'm in band. i don't think i'll be able to handle the stress. about friendship problems, i will keep it to myself. i will not say anything. they can do what they want to and say what they want to. i'll be like what mama say. neutral and think the positive side =] and my life will be much easier. hope so. i will treat everyone as usual. and forget about the past. i hope i can. i will think about that after exams.

P.S. the ones that think i like to act cute, i'm sorry i did not act cute. that's how i am and i don't like people who act cute so why would i be one. =]

peace. holidays coming soon. i'm so happy. not really. nothing much for this holiday. hope i get to go out more often.

labour day

i'm not in the mood of posting up anything. i feel like going to KL on my birthday =) hope my parents can make my wish come true =( but i don't think so ler. haih. pray pray pray! high school musical on ice mia thing is there on my birthday =/ i want to go. go for fun ler. hahaha. or maybe some artist going? i don't know. i'll see how ler then. wish wish pray pray! i feel like going out now. i don't have the mood to study! i feel like going out and enjoy myself =(