how do i feel today?

i don't know. haih. i found out something. won't be telling here. will just keep it in my heart. he is working now. i don't want make my blog sounds like a sad blog. but =( my heart isn't helping. what can i do. haihs. i cried in school. because erm. i think i miss him. and everyone around me ask about this and that. i can't take it. so i cried. i just miss him so much. memories. ok lets start from. how we meet. did i wrote about this before. i don't care. we meet erm. during this band thingy in youth park. i'm in band. and he went there with his frens. to watch or something like that. i realised he was there. cause my friend know one of them. from my tuition. i don't know when we met. ok. continue. evrything was erm. ok. then at night i got tuition. this fren told me that he say i'm pretty. then i don't believe him cause i don't know why he don't sound serious so i look at him with the eye. then. he told me again in a serious type. well that time i can't remember how he look like already. i just remember his sling bag and his pants same colour. cool right the way i remember =p everything was normal. then went to school. my friend ask for my number. i told her that i'm going to change number already. she say it's ok after change number only give her the new one cause she need it for some band thing. and then. at night. someone misscall me. my brain told me that there's 2 possibility. is either my friend that ask for my number or him. i was like keep thinking. what if it's him. what should i do. but how can he get my number. i can't really sleep. the next day i reach school straight away find for my friend and as kabput the girl's number. she say that girl won't misscall other people. so i was like. OMG! don't tell me it's him. so my friend and me was planning the whole day. how to call that person and ask. i asked my friend to help me cause my number was out of credit =] she sms that person. tuition time. i reach tuition. open door my friend ran out and start saying stuff that i don't understand. after she calm down then only i know that she's trying to say it's him. i can't remember what's my expression already. that's all for today. continue soon. boring story for most of you. it's a memory for me.

today working was a bit hard. cause they let me be cashier in the liquor and wine part. then i was like so blur. don't know where's all the stuff. tomorrow working again. 12pm =( oh. and there's a crazy indian man. he scolded one of the wrapper or something cause they don't want to give him another extra plastic bag. really stupid. now want to save world use less plastic bag he want more plastic bag. crazy man!! he just bought 4 bucks plus mia stuff and he want an extra plastic. he shouted and scold so damn loud that the whole process in Sunshine stopped. everyone's looking at him and he scold even louder. he keep repeat what he say. like. you tak ada brain. den you tak sakit hati i sakit hati. 4 ringgit you tahu tak. and bla bla bla. and then this supervisor in the liqour place. he really. ishness ok!he keep calling and talk on the phone. don't know what business also. and then. when everyone close only he come and count my money. damn him. make me so so so damn in hurry. so i just do everything. and he angry cause i press the wrong thing. damn him! who ask him so slow. he think i'm like him so free. i want to be fast that's why. ishness mia really!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy 3 years and 4 months anniversary my dear. it'll be so long already if dear did not ask for break up. there's something that i want to give you. i know u don't want it so.... will just keep it.

p.s. I STILL LOVE YOU MY DEAR. je t'aime cher pour toujours.

still feeling pain

this few days i start crying again. i don't know why. i miss him. i miss you dear. wherever u are. do u know i miss you? i want to keep my promise. one is the one i make with him. another with my another friend. i don't mean to do that. i just feel pain and that can make me feel better. really it does. i just miss all the moments we spend together. i want to hug you dear. hope dear exam is ok. good luck for your exam cher. i don't know what to post. cause now no matter what i write is sure sad stuff. i read all the messages he sent just now. in the morning. i didn't go to school. boring. got very bad position in the whole form. but good already ler for a girl who did not study. miracles. where is my dear? i want to put up all our memories here.

i short 75cents today. because of the uncle. stupid mia. go give me 10cents for what. oh. i'm working at sunshine farlim. until 18th of november. then i'm going to gama already. cause there i can get more money =] my ear hurts. don't kn0w what happen to it. aahhh. i don't care anymore. let it be.

p.s. bébé je t'aime cher pour toujours

i'm back with an empty and lonely heart

yes. i blog again already. a lot of ppl start complaining about my blog. i just feel sad! real sad. anyone that can cure me? haih. why must it be so painful? can't it be easier? can't i just use an eraser and erase it away from my memory? can i? i can't. i love him. with my whole heart. i already take him as my first and also the last bf. and also my future husband. i love you dear. wherever u are. i know u don't like it. i didn't write that for fun. now winter is not warm anymore!!! it's going to be cold. with my lonely n empty heart. waiting for him to reply my heart. it's already the 16th days since dear ask for break up. when will dear come back? dear don't let talk about the past. what am i supposed to do? i love you still do love you. forever will love you. baby will wait for dear. if dear ever change mind. i'm here. u guys may think i'm stupid to wait for him. i know but i know it's worth it. i am waiting. waiting for miracles. christmas without dear will be so not fun. i know i control you too much dear. i want to do something to it. i hope i have the chance. don't tell me to do it for my next bf. i don't want!

p.s. I LOVE YOU YEAP KEN MIN!

WOOHOO!

ok. i know i'm crazy=p erm, i think some of them know why i'm so happy. right? well, if they do read my blog. i know i haven't blog for quite a long time d. like i've disappear. i just feel lazy to blog. hols is as usual over very fast. i got lots of pic to post up. this is all the pic i took during the 2 weeks holiday. fun fun fun. love holiday. after that, there's mark. arghhh. i'm just so disappointed with most of my marks. i feel..... oh god. the pics is not working. yay. it's working. i'm feeling real sleepy and the pictures are playing me. it's already about 1 a.m. and i have to go to school tomorrow. aaahhh. who cares

he look like he's gonna eat someone

tired face after the long queue just to buy ice cream

baskin robbins! the ice cream. after it melts

what does this remind you of? pastamania? actually it's nando's =p

a bit blurred. still can see our face


us again. in secret recipe waiting for.


tada! chocolate indulgence. our trademark. just jk


the ship can ask for help. but the meaning is the most important


look at the card. i love it =)

his bed =p

his room on his bed =]

i know you all are bored of my face.

bread. we toast it. and also as the last pic for this post

today is already the 27th of June. time is moving faster than i thought it would. my mum say thweek the time is like moving slower than usual. she wants the time to move faster so that i'm older and she can rest. =( i don't want. i don't want to be old and i don't want to be young. if i'm old, there's a lot of things that i can't do anymore. if i'm too young, my mum would not let me date a guy =(

i think it's really late already. i should sleep right now. if not i'll be sleepy tomorrow. night everyone.

P.S. i'm on his bed doesn't mean anything. DO NOT THINK NONSENSE

friday i went to i-lyn's house after add maths tuition. actually we wanted to go to batu feringghi but i-lyn's mum khi siau. hahaha. so can't go. went to i-lyn's house and then she cook for me egg. i don't know she can cook. hahaha. at least she cook better than me. if i cook i think the egg will become like shit. and then, i went to her room. play her violin! so proud cause she say i'm quite good for a beginner =p she's a scary teacher. she'll kill me. i'll post the video up even though i say i won't. don't worry. you'll be famous. if anyone read my blog. hahaha. sorry. i played twinkle twinkle. hahha. but it's like shit. but at least i can play right? my hand feel so pain after holding it. maybe i need to use a smaller one since i'm so small. it must be very cute =p and then, the next day. my shoulder there bone feel pain. i think it's because of the violin. bad bad =D

so saturday is june's birthday party. i can't go. because last night when i want to go to i-lyn's house and actually my mum don't let. i want to go. so they have to come fetch me. and i get scolded from my dad and mum. i think my mum get scolded from my dad. that's why she's not talking to me in the morning =( but after that she seems a bit better. she talk to me. but in a very. i don't know how to explain. scary =/

think

when you note 'thinking' and similarly with visions or images, you should pay particular attention to the contents of your thought. you should just note that there is thinking. if you were to go into the contents of your thought or whatever you were thinking about. you will end up thinking more. i get this thing from one of the temple i went. hahaha. but i feel it's true. don't think so much. hahahaha.

wesak day

hmmm. today i'm supposed to walk wif ze they all. but erm. i don't know. i feel so angry after reading someone's blog. so i decided to walk with my beloved. at least i don't have to feel angry. hahaha. i think i can't continue to treat everyone the same anymore. not as if they appreciate it. if they know how to appreciate then i will treat them the same. but too bad i can't anymore. they blame me for changing into the 'act cute' attitude. if i really change to that. then, what's the problem? it's not a bad attitude also. they don't like me becoming like that then they should tell me instead of talking bad about me behind me and act good in front of me. if i don't like someone, the way i treat them is not going to be the same too. so, they can't blame me if they say i changed. is because they making me hate them. that's why i changed =] oh well. i'm not going to try to do anything. i will let this go as it is. and if someone wants to talk to me. then, they can. they can tell me what they don't like about me. put as anonymous. i won't know who is that anymore. if you feel that it's better that way.